Ahhh, the sweet and slow Country Life. It's been an adjustment, I'm not going to lie. Anyone who has read any of my blogs should know the adjustment has been hard and quite comical sometimes. So, just as I was beginning to get used to the feeding schedules, the children not the animals, and the watering and the weather, blah, blah, blah, a scourge so horrific came down upon my family like the plague! Chiggers!!
Oh, I don't use the word hate lightly my friends and I can tell you with the utmost certainty I HATE CHIGGERS! You cannot see them, so you just don't know they're there until you take your 4 year old son to the doctor for a terrible rash in his groin/nether regional area to find out it's chiggers. Oh, and it might be scabies, but most likely chigger. CHILLS DOWN THE SPINE EWWWWW BUGS!! Teensy tiny bugs crawling on us without even knowing.
After finding this on my son, it quickly moved on to my daughter in the same area. Not on the family jewels, no matter how much she tries to convince you that she has that too, but the nether region of the girl type. Hmm, perhaps it was when she squatted to poop in the yard? I'd bet all my money on it! The boy whips it out without caution to pee whenever the urge hits him too. It's no wonder my naked loving children have chigger bites on these particularly sensitive areas. SHIVERS AGAIN!
So, we get all the creams, antibiotic/anti-inflammatory/anti-itch/what-have-you and begin to apply every night after bath. We've also gotten a little redneck pool going here that we dip in before going in the house as much as possible to try to get them to release their unsavory death-grip bites. I have to say that the girl has cleared up significantly since the ruling of NO PULLING DOWN YOUR PANTS IN THE YARD was put into effect. The boy, however, not so much.
The boy still somehow has a plethora of bites on his, ahem, let's call them the jewels. I'm not sure how he got them so concentrated except to guess that he very carefully only pulls out the junk to pee when needed and swears on the other hand that he does not do that outside anymore Mom! Yeah, I'm sure you don't. I think that boys, and men for that matter, have a need, nay a primal urge, to pee on their property as often as humanly possible. I picture it much like a dog I had as a child who just could put a little pee on each post he encountered on a walk and really not run out through the entire neighborhood. Brilliant, calculating, and amazing these creatures with these appendages.
So, have I digressed again? Anyway, what are Chankles exactly? Well, they are what my ankles look like currently. Not to brag, but there was a time in my life when I actually liked my legs. Well, at least part of them, the bottom part never the thighs. Anyway, they were smooth and tan and looked nice in heels. Now, heels or not, there are still a pocking of chigger bites all over them about 1/3 of the way up to my knees. It's damned attractive. It's apparently my redneck ankle bracelets that are really more like a cuff and they itch incessantly. So, I have applied to myself daily the aforementioned creams to no avail. I spray bug spray liberally, but I think the bastards sit and wait until it wears off to make their move. They are wily, I am certain of that!
This goes along with the attractive poison ivy I found to be bulging out in a reaction on my face after a day spent gardening and pulling roots that were apparently um poison ivy. My eye was almost swollen shut! Thank you modern medicine for saving me the heart break and constant itching on my face, across my eye no less. This added to the lovely full calf rash the Hubster obtained while pulling poison ivy and swearing "I'm not allergic to anything" in his charming accent. Yeah, how did that work for you!
All in all we're healing, and back on the track to getting adjusted. We still miss our friends, but we're making new friends too. It's a daily adventure and I'm hoping to get through the chigger season unscathed, or should I say unscabed? BRRRR!
E Voila
Momma D
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